The I In Me(A Crazy Long Post)

I as in Introvert. Because I’m an introvert by heart, I’ve never really revealed my introversion in my early life. (Which ends now.) I used to talk a lot(people thought I was an extrovert!), I laughed loudly at anything that piqued my interests, and I loved(note the past tense) parties. That was me, for like 4 years of my life(from 10-13).

And by creating the general idea in outsiders who see me and think I’m an E(extrovert), I really dash my chances of being publicly I without drawing attention. Recently, (I’m not sure if you know) the World Cup happened(I blogged about it shortly before I had the I streak), and I’m not sure but I love football now, and I consider supporting Brazil as a fangirl thing. SO, Brazil lost pretty badly to the Germans, and they(The Seleção) were crying and apologizing for something they didn’t do(THEY DID NOT LOSE ON PURPOSE, IT WASN’T THEIR FAULT THEY LOST, IT WASN’T ANYONE’S FAULT.) and it just hit me pretty hard. How it was their ‘fault’ they couldn’t win, how it was their ‘fault’ they couldn’t defend properly. (I’m sorry to those who think otherwise! This is my opinion, I hope I don’t offend anyone! Remember, if I do, leave a message!)I had a whole string of angry thoughts to those who dissed them because I’d like to see those fans try to win the Germans. More on this:

Disclaimer: The following paragraph can be skipped because it’s about the World Cup. It does not really affect the whole post’s main message. This post is a little rant-y. I know I promised a rant-free blog but I need to get the introvert thing through.

I felt it really wasn’t their fault they lost. Yes, they depended on Neymar a great deal, but they tried. Have you seen such determination? And for the BRA vs NED. Everyone knew it was a pointless match, that Brazil would lose. But did they have to jeer and down the spirits of the ever-trying men? It wasn’t their fault they couldn’t live up to the high expectation of being the Brazil National Team, it wasn’t their fault they tried so hard but they couldn’t score. It wasn’t Scolari’s fault because who could say the outcome of the match? Is it their fault they played football the way it should be-the way you fall in love with the sport- as the beautiful game, as the human game but they couldn’t score? I honestly dislike the media now. They’re so vicious and desperate for viewer-ship they’d sprout every vile and disregarding thing about the Seleção.You could see-they lost their star striker, they were scared, but they tried. And to those who never saw the match live or never even saw it: Please get your facts right. The media loves to create these stupid controversy and we all generally side it, because it’s media, it’s where you get your news. But please please. Before you start insulting the team, look and understand how they feel, how they tried. They’re a special bunch. And they don’t deserve this verbal beating. I’m still staying as a Brasilia supporter. No matter what.

Sorry, too much on that. Anyway, my classmates(god I don’t like them) they went to school and immediately said things like “Brazil sucks” and “ohmygod. Brazil lost then they riot?” (it’s not only a sport dear stupid one. It’s an undying passion, a love, an art.). The match already left me in a cocoon state, and I’m not sure if Es are too stupid to notice me trying to absorb some alone time while trying not to cry at their intrusion. Since the match, I thought more about life, about football, about my future, everything. I was thinking every time, I lost the train of thoughts(all my thoughts were disconnected) and I wanted to be alone EVERY second. I went to school like this for a week now, and I got weird questions like “Are you okay?”(well, duh I’m okay.) because almost everyone I know is an E, so they don’t understand. They kept coming into my personal bubble, thinking I needed someone. Newsflash: I’m an introvert. I don’t. They constantly pester me, and I’m beginning to stop giving a damn about them. I don’t talk a lot now, I don’t socialize.

I guess that’s why personality tests are all to be done at the minimum age of 14-people change. I had 3 E friends(classmates) and they cornered this 99% Introvert girl in my class, thinking she needed fun, she wanted fun. They constantly did it,(every day really.) and that day, she broke down and sobbed, leading them to FURTHER corner her to ask her whether she was okay. God guys: Introvert flash. This whole incidents made me pissed. Why couldn’t people understand introverts in this great big world full of extroverts who want power. Why can’t they take the time to understand our needs to be alone? My super extroverted friend tweeted a statement I find greatly disturbing, “Sometimes people build up walls not to be alone, but to see who cares enough to break them down.”. Dear heart, ever heard of introverts?

Introverts are people, who need alone time. We don’t like to socialize too much, we don’t like to talk a lot, we don’t like too many people. We build up walls because we need them, and we don’t want anyone near it. Extroverts are people who love people and attention. We don’t. I heard of the book Quiet, and I’m seriously contemplating to read it. I want the whole world to understand us. The little community of introverts who can’t be explained. Much less understood. (I can’t believed I started out to blog about introverts and wrote about the World Cup for half. Sorry guys! I just wanted to give you an insight on what triggered my introversion. 🙂 sorry again!)


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