The word “wordy” probably scares off half the kids these days.
- a paragraph full of words
- a waterfall of words
- words in an amount similar to your book collections multiply one hundred
scary, huh. And so, writing is all about words, reading is not much different. Starting this blog, I’d initially thought I’d be a writer of fiction story books, because, hell. I love reading and writing, why not? But slowly, and surely, my confidence in my writing faltered. I couldn’t even express myself coherently. I couldn’t write a damn well written essay that I’d pass with flying colours. I couldn’t. My English teacher once announced to the whole class that my starting paragraph for an essay was too wordy, she said. Not that I minded, I didn’t. It got me thinking about the things I write.
Are all that I say relevant and important?
Most probably not.
Thus, my self-esteem dipped along with that non-existent self-confidence of mine.
Keeping a blog also means updating regularly so that people are up to date and well, amazed. I can’t. I can disappear for months and months and reappear with a crappy apology and explanation to God knows who’s reading. I always don’t know if there is anyone who appreciates what I write. I have amazing followers that I am thankful for, but. I don’t see any activities that showed they liked my blog a lot to be kept up to date on it. Not that I need that attention. I just needed a motivation for me to go on, continue writing. But I didn’t have that, I didn’t mind, but after a while, I realised, what for? My aspiration on being a writer was slowly becoming a mountainous feat I couldn’t catch up on, and life was swallowing me down so, so quickly.
I’m not saying I give up my aspiration to be a writer, I’m just going to change my gears a little. Do something wordy, yes. Continue blogging, yes. But maybe, maybe not a storybook writer. I’m not so sure yet.
Although, just a little insight to me, I don’t do very well on essays in school. I always get average marks, hardly the highest.
To all the aspiring writers out there:
Don’t give up!! I’m always the reader, so I’ll be supporting you all no matter what! Write “trash” all you want, but the trash you think of may be someone’s lifesaver for all you know. 🙂